Friendsterization

To do is to be [Descartes].
To be is to do [Voltaire].
Do be do be do [Frank Sinatra]
            
So finally my years of being a student are coming to an end. Graduation
is roughly a month away and well, everyone I know also seems to be
doing the job hunt frenzy. So have I.
            
I realize that it’s just not enough to send out resumes nowadays. I have to do things that will separate me from the pack.
            
So I came up with this list of possible things I could do in order to
land my ideal job.  Of course, after having my advisor review this
list, she tried to convince me that maybe I would best be suited at a
mental insitution. It’s the stress I tell you!
            
Ok. I’ll shut up (!). Here it is:

 DAPHNE’S IDEAS ON LANDING HER IDEAL JOB

1. light myself on fire. maybe my employers will come watch me burn. but F*CK that would hurt!

2. act exactly like Paris Hilton would during the interview,
including bringing a pooch accessory with me - *woof*

3. hold my breath until I get a job offer.

*4. pretend I’m invisible and go to do my work for the company, while I’m invisible .

———————————————-

How did you land or plan to land your ideal profession?

at 9 years old, when i arrived here at the
US, i knew i was different. the way i dressed, the darkness of my skin, the way
i smelled, the heavy accent i carried, all made me the girl sitting on the edge
forever halved in photographs. i am filipino, but now i had to learn to be
part of something else. 

when i was in 4th grade, my mom used to send
me off to school with rice and vienna sausages for lunch. all the other kids in
class would look at me as if i had two heads. who ate rice and sausage for
lunch?! so i would hide my lunch under the table and pick at it slowly so it
would seem as if i was just sitting there casually or sometimes i would not eat
my lunch at all and just wait until i got home to eat it.

at night, i would watch BBC, and practice my
english so that instead of having my harsh filipino accent, i would acquire the
British one. i read and read, hoping i would learn something in books that will
teach me how to fit in or maybe how to lose my filipinoness because it was not
helping me at all.

i sat in front of two boys in church one
time and i remember he and his friend snickering. when a parent asked what the
fuss was all about, i heard them whisper to her, "the girl in front of us smells
really bad like fish."

that was probably the most
humiliating moment in my life. i could not help it that the type of food we ate
was so strong that not only did it pervade the house, but our clothes also. and
i could not help it that i had so gotten used to the smell, that i never
realized i smelled differently until i heard those two boys making fun of me.

i could go on and on about instances about
how i tried to act, look, and be anything else but filipino. then all of a
sudden, it hit me the other day. the reason i am so uniquely me is because i am
filipino. it is because i am part of a beautiful group of people who have a
culture as rich as bill gates. it is because of the struggles of my ancestors
that i am here today, writing to you.

what exactly do i have to be ashamed
of ?

sure, i have lost the accent. sure, i am
more americanized now, but it is my filipino qualities that i am now holding on
to steadfastly because without it, i would just be plain old boring me without a
story to tell. 

HAVE A CULTURAL STORY TO
SHARE ?

i dont have a dog or a cat (sob).

i have tried hard to convince my mom that a pet (mainly a dog)
would be beneficial to the entire household. but every request has been turned
down, the main reason being that if my brothers and sister and i cant even clean
up after ourselves, how could we possibly clean up after an animal?

hmmm … my mom has obviously not seen me clean up after
matthew. haha - jk babe.

anyway, so i’ve thought long and hard about this and i came up
with this solution. why cant we have a pet octopus ?! i think it’s a brilliant
idea. all we have to do really is to keep the water clean, but i’m sure we would
have hours of fun with it.

now i know you’re all thinking. uhm … the octopus will just
sit in a tank and do nothing all day and get very bored and so will you. well,
that’s what my mom said anyway.

that’s where you’re wrong, mom !

i wanted to take it a step further. so i thought, we could make
an octopus plastic bubble tank filled with seawater that will allow the octopus
to roll around the house when it wants to, sort of like a pet hamster only it’s
an octopus. we can take it for walks in the park or take it to go see a movie
with us. we would be the envy of a lot of people out there! even a pet door
could be installed to allow the octopus as much freedom as he wants. i bet you i
could even train that octopus, considering they are the most intelligent
molluscs.

so yeah, i told all of this to my mom and she stared at me
blankly after i finished. after a minute or two of this, she finally said, "we
still can’t have one. your dad would probably cook him for dinner."

parents! such party poopers!

WHAT KIND OF PETS DO YOU GUYS
HAVE?