Interracial Dating
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WHITE + BROWN = LOVE
I think interracial dating is a beautiful thing.
I get to experience Matthew’s culture and he gets to
see mine. Sure, our relationship is not always stars and butterflies.
We are continually learning and adjusting to each other, making
compromises as we go along.
But we have never looked at each other and defined each
other by how much or how little melanin our body produces. And we have
never looked at other people that way either.
If only the rest of the world could view us the same way…
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May 15th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
I guess it’s okay to date someone who’s not of the same ethnicity as you are. Nothing’s wrong there. If you found love, why not? (^_^)
May 15th, 2005 at 9:27 pm
Ahh…yes. The South! The East. You need to come west Honey. (Unless it’s a family thing and then…Meh…what can I say?)
My undergrad was anthropology. I just don’t GET the whole racial thing. Just don’t freaking get it! Ok, I do get it. People are insecure. You persecute that which you fear. You fear that which you don’t understand. You don’t understand that which you will not try….
I say try.
I ended up with my life-partner as a member of my same “ethnicity” as a complete accident. All the girls I dated and were attracted to were not my same ethnicity…until Deb. But like I said…complete accident.
You are who YOU are, and nobody has claim to your life but you. If you (and Matt) are happy…really happy and comitted to each other, you can weather any storm.
I mean really. What does it matter what your skin, lips, eyes, hair or the shape of your teeth are? Does it? Of course not!
I love how the same people who decry racial or ethnic differences as somehow significant (based almost solely on appearance) would never think to cast their children out if, say they suffered a physically disfiguring accident. Same diff if you ask me. In other words, it’s the same kid - just looks different. (Sadly, there are people THAT hollow as to cast out a loved one…for less even…)
But I digress…
Did I already say to do whatever the Fu*k you want and let the haters of the world wallow in their myopic misery?
….RANT…RANT…RANT!!
But this is important…and so are….you. Be well. Be…you.
May 17th, 2005 at 6:30 am
i believe that there are different ethnicities but i dunno if i can agree with the multi race theory.. i think there is only one race … the human one
hehehe…
in my opinion, couples of two nationalities or ethnicities are beautiful
okay, so there can be major cultural barriers that may decrease the rate of comprehension of eachother, but if one is consistent, openminded, the relationship can evolve into the most exciting and fulfilling one! 
if you really love someone, itll work out 
(yeah, cliché-ish i know but really, i think it might be true) the offspring will have the advantage of maybe being bilingual from childhood. being multilingual is such a great priviledge and the fruits of that inborn comprehension of other cultures adds a new dimention into ones view of life, of people and of characters 
hehehe.. that is beautiful too!! 
and theres nothing wrong with marrying someone with the same etnicity or nationality either
i dont know if ill end up with someone from my own country (the phils) or someone from my adopted nation, (norway)… but one thing i do know, is that ethnicity should not be a deciding factor of who your heart should and can love.
that was just some of my view points..
take care yall!!!
i wanted to read the comments but i wasnt able to… :-s i dunno why???? sayang… there were some stories i wanted to share from my growing up :))
ps. daphne.. i really liked the post about your being filipino
you seem like a really beautiful woman
good luck with your man!!! 
the two of you look great together!
May 22nd, 2005 at 8:59 pm
And neither will anyone look at your relationship as other than “just two random people in the world dating or committed to each other”…UNLESS YOU GO AND MAKE IT AN ISSUE by having a whole blog to discuss about it.
And no offense but, White Americans really don’t have culture. What C-U-L-T-U-R-E?
He’s an American, like any other American born here…be it Asian, Blacks, Hispanics etc…If he’s “teaching” you anything about “his” culture…wouldn’t it just be about the “American” culture? But that still doesn’t mean that your boyfriend is teaching you anything about “his” culture - because “his” culture is also yours.
Everything that he experienced in his life as an American - you’ve also experienced by being born and raised in America too. Now if you weren’t raised here and just came to this country, than that’s another story.
Lets not forget that America was based on the foundation of immigrants, people of ALL races. If America today was defined as just WHITE/Caucasion, and not ALL races…then the very meaning of the word AMERICA is non-existent. That’s just a fact. Nothing personal.
The dictionary says, CULTURE means: “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group”. Well in this case, being that we are AMERICANS, it can only mean that there will be more than a number of races, religions and social groups.
Since the foundation of the American CULTURE is based on that.
So hence, your man is not teaching you anything about his culture that you don’t already know, especially if you were born and raised here.
He may be teaching you about his upbringing. But that would go for ANY relationship, not just interracial. You, however, may be teaching him something about your Filipino background if your family still hold on to your traditions.
If any culture at all that may exist with your boyfriend, it may be from his British ancestors prior to the revolutionary war and his family still hold some century-old British traditions. But I doubt that. Most white Americans today…don’t even hold on to any cultural traditions. They hold family traditions..but lets not confused that with cultural.
If you are going to post a blog, be prepared to hear anything.
May 23rd, 2005 at 7:40 pm
Samantha…at the risk of putting words in Daphne’s mouth, she came here as a pre-teen so she and her family are mostly first generation imigrants.
In a “cultural” sense, first generation immigrants are known to hold onto and practice family AND cultural traditions to a very high degree.
I also know from conversations with Daphne that she has, in fact, experienced some “racial” tension both on a personal level and from society at large.
I understand that in West Covina, CA she and Matthew would be seen as just “two random ppl” But I have some experience with eastern/southern racial culture and I assure you that there is a LARGE fraction of the population in those areas of the US that - to this day - eye anyone with something more than a “tan” with suspicion.
Sad, but true.
And lastly, please tell me that you are NOT saying that “American culture” is generic, uninformative and irrelevant, because it certainly seems like it. = )
May 23rd, 2005 at 7:51 pm
I can totally relate Daphne. My hubby is white, im filipino born & raised in the philippines & we’ve been together for 5 yrs. Yup, it hasn’t been smooth sailing but we love each other. I wish you & Matt only the best!
gracejoy
May 24th, 2005 at 12:15 am
There are two sides to everything. I appreciate everyone’s comments.
“Use your voice….or someday you will lose it” ….so TRUE.
May 26th, 2005 at 8:28 am
i dont even think of race as an issue…as long as you guys can tolerate each other’s cultures and beliefs, what’s to stop you guys? people try to separate the world by lumping people into categories, black, white, brown, foreigners, locals…we’re all the same species! …we just come in an assortment of colors.
May 28th, 2005 at 9:55 am
Interesting post. A few comments on the post about what AMERICA is or isn’t about:
America is not a country. America is a continent. If you wish to refer to the country you live in, be accurate and say “The United States of America”, “The US” or “USA”. It sounds so dismissive to say “America” when talking about the USA, as if it were the only country in the continents worth mentioning.
After all, a person born in Uruguay could say they were born in America and be right, wouldn’t he/she?
I figure you guys are open-minded folk, good forum to spread the little knowledge of geography that exists in this country!
May 29th, 2005 at 12:12 am
This is Wonderful!
That’s why we’ve got the term..”The Melting Pot”
The best is yet to come.. Best of Luck to you both.
May 31st, 2005 at 12:33 pm
You go for it woman! I myself am quite partial to dating outside my race. I am about as white as I can get. I have always been attracted to things that are different than me. I have dated Koreans, Phillipinos, Chinese, African Americans and a man from Uganda. I have a friend who is from Mali. With every person who is different from me I learn beautiful things about cultures. I learn words in different languages and have a wonderful growing experience. I am also a firm believer that inter-racial children are some of the most beautiful in the world. I have a friend who is phillipino, chinese, and white and her boyfriend is Venezulian I think they would have such beautiful children. I am most partial to black men myself. Dark skin literally makes my mouth water. I unfortunately have not had a long lasting relationship in quite some time; but that is never a question of race. The world needs more open-minded people like you. Racism needs to be obliterated. Keep up the enlightenment. Thanks girl.
June 2nd, 2005 at 10:45 am
It is getting hard for me in getting friends.Wouid ube my friend. My name is Ladapo Temitope.My e-mail address is Temitope5000@fastermail.com
June 6th, 2005 at 8:50 pm
For me, interracial dating is romantic. Thus, we can get to understand each culture better!
June 29th, 2005 at 8:09 am
wow, can i ask date u sometime soon?
July 4th, 2005 at 1:57 pm
haha!! if standing on a rational point of view, why not?? if standing on emotional point of view, who cares?? if standing in front of the public, haha … thats way the problems comes … to me, live for happiness, not for others …
July 18th, 2005 at 8:42 am
It’s evident that we all generally agree on the same answer about interracial relationships….ITS OK. However, why do we hear that interracial relationships fail more often than those of the same? In my opinion, committing to someone whose background differ from me require more effort and magnitude. It is true that most interracial relationships begin with genuine love, the fact remains…they are both differ. Sacrifices, commitment and dedication will not top what is most important: Open mindedness and understanding. I am in an interracial relationship at the moment and we visited each other. What I found is that the more I become understanding of her culture, the more love I have for her. We didn’t have sex yet over the year long relationship; but, it is not missing at this stage. I’m enjoying knowing more about the culture and history. When I came to know this, I began to speak the same language of the mind.
July 18th, 2005 at 2:53 pm
hi girl happy fun aja.ok
July 19th, 2005 at 12:03 am
*sigh* I’m having the exact same problem, except i dont have the guy yet haha.. but my guy option is very very limited to just asian-chinese guy. i dont think having a interracial relationship is something that should be problem. i believe that how it will work or not, doesnt depend on people’s race. cause face it, even the same racial relationship fails. isnt it sad if you’re the one is someone whos not ur race and because of the racial issue u guys just cant be together?
July 26th, 2005 at 12:01 am
I don’t see any wrong with dating guy from different race. Complications might arise cuz of the difference in culture and beliefs.. the most important is the ACCEPTANCE.
July 26th, 2005 at 12:22 am
Reading all the comments makes me think of my relationship with my boyfriend right now. He’s part american part filipino. But he’s basically very american. He’s got very little knowledge about his filipino roots and it’s kinda hard. We always argue all the time because of our different opinions about a lot of things (w/c includes beliefs and cultures). I’m into more filipino ways and he’s into american ways. It’s very funny cuz once we argue, we argued like a kids over candies but in the end we always compromise. I am trying to let him accept that this is me the way he is trying let me accept him the way he is..you see it’s all in the process. You just can’t let things happen in one click..it takes time and it’s all a matter of acceptance..for me it is.
July 30th, 2005 at 12:14 am
You got my attention to this. There’s nothing wrong and I don’t see any imperfection in dating or having a relationship with someone different from your race. As long as you both have good intentions… you can’t go wrong. I am openminded to this… I’m now waiting for one lucky western guy who’ll soon come and visit me here (in phils). I just wish the best of luck for both of us.
September 5th, 2005 at 1:56 am
I always got attracted to guys who came from different races. I came from a mix family and maybe thats one of the reason why i was so interest about anthropology. I have a filipino boyfriend … n oh yeah…i dont see there’s any problem dating someone who completely came from other races!!
As long as u love each other.
September 9th, 2005 at 12:48 am
Would I date outside my race?! Dude that question a very ridiculous one! Of course! I love women… and frankly I don’t care if she is not of the same ethnicity as I am. I’m a firm believer that we catch each other’s attention no matter what race we both are I’m willing to give it a try. If it works, awesome, but if not, too bad; but so what?! Same race or not it doesn’t matter. If you let that stop you… you’re nothing but a fool.
September 18th, 2005 at 12:37 am
I totally am for interacial relationships. I am married to a puerto rican man. I love him very much. It doesn’t/shouldn’t matter the color of the skin as long as there is love and respect between two people; it’s all good. I’m filipino american and my parents were ok with my husband. Girl don’t let it get in the way.
September 28th, 2005 at 3:43 am
hi
October 4th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
I’ve ONLY dated outside of my race.
And I wouldn’t trade that in with anything.
I don’t think I COULD date anyone from my race…it would be so boring.
Good luck on it.
November 18th, 2005 at 7:03 pm
your blog kicks butt!
November 18th, 2005 at 7:04 pm
I’m white and I love Filipino’s so much! Of course its alryt! There’s absolutely nothing wrong about it. Its a great experience…
November 18th, 2005 at 7:07 pm
Were did u buy that white dress? I love it!