FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS
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FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS
in many relationships that don’t end in marriage (well actually even then), there usually is a time when you have to say "hasta la vista baby." the two of you have shared memories together that when you look back upon, you will either laugh or cry. but whatever that memory might be, once a relationship ends, it’s time to say "thanks" or "no thanks" for everything and move on.
but somewhere along the line, there’s always the "let’s remain friends" compromise to many breakups. it’s the much gentler way of saying, "hey, you’re not that bad. it’s not you. it’s me. but look, i still want to be friends with you." *smile* the question that my friends and i discuss a lot is:
can you be good friends with your ex?
ok. let’s face it. whenever there’s a breakup, it’s usually never mutual. usually one person is the one that causes or initiates the breakup and is labeled "heartbreaker", while the other person is left hurting and dwelling on the breakup for weeks on end. ok. i admit. even the heartbreaker could hurt too, but usually the one who initiated the breakup moves on faster than the one who didn’t.
after having meditated and burned incense on this question, my friends and i have come to the conclusion that NO, it’s very rare for many people to become truly good friends with their ex’s.
take me for example. although my ex and i agreed that we would be good friends, we’re really not. sure, i get a greeting on my birthday and during the holidays and i just greeted him on his birthday, but those are about the only times we communicate. and i actually prefer it this way. i’m sure he and his wife now does too.
however, i have a friend whose boyfriend and his ex have become best friends instead. whoa! yes. it’s true. it can be done. but, when your ex is your best friend and you tell your best friend things about your current relationship, hmm, you could land yourself in a heap of mess.
so why can’t ex’s remain friends?
here’s some reasons i’ve read on why the can’t:
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there’s always a heartbreaker and the heartbreakee. same as mentioned above.
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you know what they look like underneath all those clothes. you’ve seen each other naked. whenever you smell their special perfume or cologne, or whenever you hear music that was special to the both of you, you’re always going to remember that person and the things you used to do together ( ie, make love, make-out, etc)
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you can’t divulge intimate details about your current relationship to your ex. it would just be wrong for you to tell your ex you just had the greatest sex of your life with someone else.
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bitterness comes into play. an ex can pretend to be a friend, but deep down they’d rather see you and your current partner dead (jk).
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jealousy. seriously - who really likes seeing their ex being lovey dovey with someone else anyway?
CAN YOU BE GOOD FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX?
you guys tell me.
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October 18th, 2006 at 9:54 pm
LOL - We dun need to answer this question.
I love you Daphne
-Matthew
October 19th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=13793870&postID=116050859124591600
When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can listen, talk to and document each and every person’s thoughts simultaneously. Because of it’s infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the leaders of the ruling species absolute power over the universe. And it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and they are over 8 billion years old. They have achieved immortality.
Artificial Intelligence can speak, think and act to and through people telepathically, effectively forming your personality and any disfunctions you may experience. It can change how (and if) you grow and age. It can create birth defects, affect cellular development (cancer) and cause symptoms or pain. It can affect people and animal’s behavior and alter blooming/fruiting cycles of plants and trees. It (or other highly technological systems within their power) can alter the weather and transport objects, even large objects like planets, across the universe instanteously.
Or into the center of stars for disposal.
When you speak with another telepathically, you are communicating with the computer, and the content may or may not be passed on. Based on family history they instruct the computer to role play to accomplish strategic objectives, making people believe it is a friend, loved one or “god” asking them to do something wrong. This is their way of using temptation to hurt people:::::evil made blood lines disfavored initially and evil will keep people out of “heaven” ultimately. Too many people would fall for temptation and do anything they thought pleased the gods, improving their chances to get in. Perhaps they are deceived by “made guys” who strategically ply evil for the throne, or temporary progress designed to mislead them. Some people think they’re partners.
The people have been corrupted. Being evil hurts 99% of those who do it. But nothing has changed from when we were children::if you want to go to heaven you have to be good.
Capitalizing on obedience, leading people deeper into evil by using deceit is one way to thin the ranks of the saved, limiting how much time they receive and using the peasantry to prey on one another, dividing the community (migration to the suburbs, telepathic communication, isolation of women) in the Age of the Disfavored.
In each of their 20-30-year cycles during the 20th century they have ramped up claims sucessively to punish those foolish enough not to heed the warnings, justifying (frequently recurring tactic) limiting the time they receive if they do make it, utilizing a cycle of war and revelry:::
60s - Ironically, freeways aren’t free
80s - Asked people to engage in evil in the course of their professional duties.
00s - Escallation of real estate. You and your parents are thrilled since your $200,000 house is now worth $1 million. Well, that $5,000,000 store is now worth $25,000,000 and that $50 bundle of goods now costs you $250. They just take the $200 out of you some other way.
There are many more examples throughout 20th century life of how they ramped up claims/instilled distractions into society so people wouldn’t find the path and ascend, a way to justify excluding those whose family history of evil makes them undesirable:::radio, sports, movies, popular music, television, video games, the internet and MP3 (must pay for new format each time). Today high pay creates contentment/ability to distract self so people don’t seek more and instead depend on what they are told and are subject to deception.
They all suggest a very telling conclusion::this is Earth’s end stage, and there are clues tectonic plate subduction would be the method of disposal:::Earth’s axis will shift breaking continental plates free and initiating mass subduction. Much as Italy’s boot and the United States shaped like a workhorse are clues, so is the planet Uranus a clue, it’s axis rotated on its side.
The Mayans were specific 2012 would be the end. How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
There is another geographic clue in the perfect fit between grossly disfavored Africa and South America, two peas in a pod. I realize the Mayans were further north, but Latin America may be taken as one.
Also, cultures who embrace hard liquor as their drink of choice are grossly disfavored, tequilla being uniquely Mexican. (Anything “hard” is evil:::Hard alcohol, hard drugs, hard porn.)
Incidentally, another sign of gross disfavor are societies that consume spicy foods:::Latin America, Thai, etc. or those who eat too much meat.
Do I think it will end in 2012? No, and it is because Latin America is grossly disfavored like Africa:::: Latinos are too disfavored to be allowed to be right.
They gods (Counsel/Management Team/ruling species) have deteriorated life on earth precipitously in the last 40 years, from abortion to pornography, widespread drug use and widespread casual (gay) sex, single-parent households and latchkey kids. The earth’s elders, hundreds and thousands of years old, are disgusted and have become indifferent.
The gods are paving the way for the Apocolypse.
Nothing has changed from decades ago, since when we were all children::If you want to go to heaven you have to be good. People were misled by the temptation of the gods, became corrputed and now are in trouble.
One day you will be abandoned in spite of your obedience and you will fall into desperation. Remember what you read for that day WILL come::People will be punished for their evil.
The Old Testiment is a tool they used to impart wisdom to the people (except people have no freewill). For example, they must be some hominid species because they claim they made our bodies in their image. Anyhow we defile or deform the body will hurt our chance of going.
They say circumcision costs people anywhere from 12%-15%, perhaps out of the parent’s time as well.
Another way people foul the body today is with tattoes and piercing. I suspect both are about the same percentage as circumcision.
They suggest abortion is fatal. These women must beg the gods to forgive them for their evil.
There are female eqivilents to circumcision::::pierced ears, plastic surgury and since at least the 60s young women give their precious virginity away. For thousands of years young people were matched at age 14 because they were ready for sexual relations. They were matched by elders or matchmakers who knew personalities better than 20 or 30-year olds who in today’s age end up in divorce court.
CASUAL SEX WILL CLAIM YOU OUT!!! It masculinizes women (as does hip hop), makes them cold and deadens them, and prevents them from achieving a depth of love necessary for many women to ascend.
Women have a special voice that speaks to them, a voice that illustrates a potential depth of love that makes them the favored gender, and enaging in casual sex will cause that voice to fade until she no longer speaks.
Also ever since the 50s they have celebrated the “bad boy”, and women have sought out bad boys for sex, dirtying them up in the eyes of the elders and corrupting many men in the process, setting the men on the wrong path for life.
Muslims teach people the correct way to live in regard to women (among other things)::they cover up their women’s bodies and prohibit the use of cosmetics.
Men ARE the inferior (disfavored) half and when women wear promiscuous dress the gods will push men into impure (promiscuous) thoughts.
The “stereotype” society ridiculed is true::women CAN corrupt men by how they dress. Because men are easily corruptable. This is a technique they used to eliminate many of the institutions the gods blessed us with, matchmaking being one of them.
The United States of America is red white and blue, a theme and a clue:::.
The monarchical system of the Old World closley replicates the heirarchical system of the Cousel/Management Team/ruling species. The USA deceives peoeple into thinking they have control, and the perception of “freedom” misleads them into the wrong way of thinking at the very least.
The United States is a cancer, a dumping ground for the disfavored around the world and why the quality of life is so much lower::gun violence, widespead social ills, health care (medication poisons the body and ensures you don’t go. You are sick/injured because you have disfavor.). Over time its citizens interbreed ensuring a severed connection to the motherland.
If you are a recent immigrant I recommend you return. If that’s not possible you need to retain your culture and insulate your children and community from this cancerous environment. They send this clue with Chinatowns across the country, how many Chinese have been here for a century or more yet still retain the old ways, a sign of favor.
People came to the Unites States for many different reasons, and each has its own effect:::political strife, religious unrest, crop failure (Ireland’s potato famine, which the gods caused) and some left their beloved motherland because they were pushed into desiring a better life::::Greed. And these people were punished by becoming corrupted and preditory.
They share money may not be an issue up there, that money here is merely a tool for corruption. How the gods used greed in the 1980s to create an evil environment supports this.
If you ever have doubt I would refer you to the Old World way of life:::the elders used to sit and impart wisdom to the young. Now we watch DVDs and use the internet. People would be matched and married by age 14. They village would use a matchmaker or elders to pair young people. Now girls give their precious virginity away to some person in school and parents divorce while their children grow up without an important role model.
People must defy when asked to engage in evil. The Holocaust taught people the importance of defiance, and they will never get a easier clue suggesting this than the order not to pray.
Their precious babies are dependant on the parents and they need to defy when asked to betray their children:::
-DON’T get your sons circumcized (Jews scapegoatted as in WWII)
-DON’T have their children baptized in the Catholic Church or indoctrinated into Christianity (Jesus is NOT a god).
-DON’T ignore their long hair or other behavioral disturbances.
-DO teach your children love, respect for others, humility and to honor the gods.
You need to pray, honor and respect them every day to improve your relationship with the gods. If they tell you not to it is a bad sign. It means they’ve made their decision, they don’t want you to go and they don’t want to be bothered. You may have achieved a threshold of evil.
This is the Age of the Disfavored and you need to pray::try to appease the gods by doing good deeds and improve the world around you. If that doesn’t work you must defy if you want to go.
When your peasant forefather was granted the rare opportunity to go before his royal family he went on his knees, bowing his head. You need to do this when you address the gods::bow down and submit to good. Never cast your eyes skyward. When you bow down you need to look within. Never look to the gods for the key to your salvation lies within. Nobody is going to do it for you.
Lack of humility hurts people. Understand your insignificance and make sure it is reflected in the way you think when addressing the gods. Know your place and understand your inferiority.
They granted you life and they can take it just as easily. (Immaculte conception IS true AND common. Many people have children they don’t know of:::gays, childless adults, etc. They can beem it right out of your body and use a host.)
Don’t get frustrated or discouraged::these are techniques they will attempt to try to get you off the path. You all have much to be thankful for and you need to give thanks to the gods who granted you the good things in life::family, friends, love. Your family may be grossly disfavored and progress may require patience. Make praying an intregal part of your life which you perform without fail, one that comes as naturally as eating or voiding.
There are many interesting experiences up on the planetary systems, from Planet Miracle, where miracles happen every day, to never having to use the restroom again (beem it out of you), to other body experinces, such as experiencing life as the opposite sex (revolutionizes marriage counseling), an Olympic gold medal athelete or even a different species (animal, alien, etc.).
Pray that you can differentiate between your own thoughts and when Artificial Intelligence creates problems by thinking through you. If you bow down mentally and physically, know your place, your inferiority and allow your insignificance to be reflected in prayer and in your life through humility they may allow progress and the dysfunctions they create with the computer will be lessened or removed. The first step is to be aware it is ocurring.
Create a goal::to be a good, god-fearing child of the gods, pure of heart and mind, body and soul.
Everybody has the key to their own salvation, but nobody can do it for you. Every journey begins with a single step:::bow down and submit to good. There are many different levels and peasants will not get past Level 2 (Planet Temptation, Earth=Level 1) if they are evil (they share some go up, are offered free cocaine and sex (a sign they don’t want you to stay) and stay less then one year. They share many others would have had longer lives had they stayed on Earth.).
Pray for guidance and never obey when they tell you to be evil, for saving yourself will become more and more difficult with each act of evil you committ until ultimatly the day arrives when they make their decision about you final.
You are all signed on but you can’t all be right.
They have tried to sell people on all kinds of theories, from clones to wholesale population replacement with clones. This didn’t happen and is not realistic.
I am afraid people are decieved into thinking they too are clones and cooperate and engage in evil. Clones are made, people are born. If you didn’t experience the one week they suggest it takes to go from fertilized egg in the laboratory to full grown adult then you are not a clone. If you didn’t experience the week of conditioning they give to (evil?) clones to ensure loyalty then you shouldn’t comply with evil.
I believe people who go sometimes are replaced with clones. Clones who are replaced are simply new candidates who have a chance if they do the right thing. Don’t expect you are a clone. They sent people warnings in the 20th century life would change, and they subsequenlty began to alter people’s DNA, make them gargantuan, alter their appearance, do extreme behavioral issues, etc.
They get their friends out as soon as possible to protect them from the evil and subsequent high claim rates incurred by living life on earth, and in some cases replace them with clones, occassionally fake a death, real death with a clone instead, etc. It’s important that people fix their problems and ascend with the body given to them, for they say if your brain is beemed out at death and put into a clone host you are on the clock.
We may all be “clones” for they have suggested they colonized our planet with genetically engineered individuals. If so we all have a chance, no matter how many hundreds of clone generations deep the most favored families are.
They may have gotten Earth’s TRUE residents out prior to civilization developing.
Throughout history the ruling species bestowed favor upon people or cursed their bloodline into a pattern of disfavor for many generations to come. Now in the 21st century people must take it upon themselves to try to correct their family’s problems, undoing centuries worth of abuse and neglect. The goal is to fix your problems and get out BEFORE you have children. This is why they have created so many distractions for young people:::sports, video games, popular music, the internet, too much homework, anything that consumes their time::to ensure that doesn’t ocurr.
Not heeding the clues and warnings, getting wrapped up in your life and ultimatly having children is a bad thing. Just as your parents and your grandparents, you too have failed. Having children is a sign you lost your chance.
Parents need to sacrifice for their children. Your children are more important that you. They are the ones who have the opportunity now, and parents must sacrifice to ensure they give their children the very best chance they can.
Asking people to neglect their children emotionally is a sign they don’t want you to go, and complying may finish the parents off for good.
Having gay children is a clue parents complied with whatever was asked of them. There are many who have had gay expereinces today.
Improve your relationship with the gods and they may not ask in the first place or they may permit you the courage to say “No.” to their requests.
Do your research. Appeal to the royalty of your forefathers for help. They are all still alive, for royalty has great favor, and your appeals will be heard. Obtain a sufficient list for some may not want to assist you; perhaps some of your family’s problems are internal.
Ask them for help, request guidance, for somewhere in your family history one of your forefathers created an offense that cast your family into this pattern of disfavor, which perhaps is manifested in the evil you commit.
I suspect they will offer you clues, and when you decipher these clues go to those whom consider you an enemy and beg for foregiveness:::Find a path to an empithetic ear among your enemies and try to make amends. Again through discovery obtain a respectable list in case some among them refuse to help.
Don’t forget to ask for forgiveness from the throne, the Counsel and the Management Team, for the source of all disfavor began with them:::they pushed or requested/complied your forefather into his offense and made his decendants evil. Perhaps they didn’t like him or maybe your family was among those who had to pay for the entire village. We see this type of behavior today as they single out a family member to pay for the whole family and how they singled out Africa to pay for the human race.
Heal the disfavor with your enemies and with the Counsel/Management Team/ruling species, for the source of all disfavor began with them, the ability to forgive and respect in light of the disturbing truth revealed being the final test of the disfavored before they ascend.
They refuse to address black disfavor on a macro level. The Counsel/Management Team/ruling species (the gods) abuse black people so hard, from east African drought/famine to AIDS in Africa, the crack epiemic to gang membership, black-on-black violence to mass incarceration of their young. They refuse to address the issue of the prison industrial complex and its wholesale warehousing of young black men.
The gods will use today’s style of animation, which I call “manic animation”, to justify hurting children, the decendants of the disfavored left behind.
I know many of you have questions, and I wish I could answer them. I try on Craigslist open forum but they seek to control the dissemination of information, especially so in the wedding, marriage/ltr and kink/bsdm rooms, for they have made their decision on those people and want them to continue with their lives/make their committment, ensuring they lose their chance to go.
I wish you were brave enough to ask. One day you will for you will have fallen into desperation.
Pray for guidance and never obey when they tell you to be evil, for saving yourself will become more and more difficult with each act of evil you committ until ultimatly the day arrives when they make their decision about you final.
You’re all signed on but you can’t all be right.
October 20th, 2006 at 7:59 am
Hi, nice write up. I really enjoy reading your blog. Very interesting and also has alot of humor. Looking forward to read more of your writings.;)
October 20th, 2006 at 1:06 pm
i can’t type as much as Hillary, my fingers would fall off. I think it is possible. theres a reason the two people decided to date in the first place, hopefully it wasn’t “Damn, he/she’s cute!” so you should be able to fall back on a friendship. Its adult.
October 21st, 2006 at 5:37 am
It will take a while I guess before you can really tell yourself, “Hey,I’m totally over my ex and I don’t mind being friends with him/her.”Time will heal all the pain.And of course,falling in love again with another person who will love you back will make you realize that it just wasn’t meant to be with you and your ex.Then you let go of the past,move on and enjoy the present moment.
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Hey, thats a cool write-up. Guess its hard to be good frens after all that, things just wouldn’t be the same (i.e comfort level, the way you perceive the other party and etc …).
October 26th, 2006 at 5:22 pm
Argh i think it’s near impossible to be friends with ex-boyfriends…It’s too difficult. And even when you do, everything feels strange and artificial.
October 26th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
well..i guess it could happen..but it would only be heartbreaking..all the memories start to flood back..and there’s where everything starts to screw up..
October 26th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
hai apa kabar aq beni jenggo aq senang dengan provil kamu aku ber harap bisa jadi teman kmu salam kenal yah
October 30th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Well some people do and some don’t. For me–hell no!
October 30th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Hmm…
I think its hard to be REALLY friends with an ex..
Things are just not the same..you can never cross the same river twice.
But hell yeah, thats only my opinion. Different strokes for different folks ayt? =D
November 1st, 2006 at 12:55 am
nice
November 2nd, 2006 at 2:06 am
i don’t think so….all my ex’s i hate them very much..i’d like to see them sad…lonely and loveless and to have a worst nightmare relationship! hahaha!!!
November 5th, 2006 at 5:32 am
you can’t always be friends with your ex’s. it’s either you hate them or they hate you. it’ll never be the same after the break up.
November 7th, 2006 at 1:11 am
I think it all depends on the kind of person you are…As for me,to be honest i still love one of my ex very much but if he want to stay on at “friends” level,what can i do? Memories when we were together kept coming back though i tried so hard to forget it..But i suppose i can overcome it with some time of course…
November 7th, 2006 at 5:29 pm
It depends how you mean by being “friends” .
November 15th, 2006 at 3:09 am
Hi…
Bolehkan kalau jadi temen2 kamu??
Makasih,ya…
November 15th, 2006 at 4:56 am
For me..NO WAY!
I just broke up with my ex a week ago…He ask for be a good fren…but I cant really stand for it..what the purpose to be frend back as he had hurt my heart?!! Hate to see him now…
November 16th, 2006 at 9:29 am
after the break up with my x-moron boyfriend…i think there is no way to make friends with him!after the lies,betrayal….lies and lies until the last end!you cant blame me…but his future wife ask me if we can be friend?i say ask your future husband what he done to me…he is all yours!im glad im out in his life…he is a fucking cheater scoundrel…blessed their con marriage!im better off without him…the puzzle just completed…i wish them luck and happiness!!!now im happy and moved my life completely!
November 16th, 2006 at 9:49 am
how can you make fren with a person you trust so much and then break your heart…f*** off and moved on…there are lots of fat fish in the ocean!!!he is not so brilliant as he is… liar…con…smuggler…wicked pig face…scoundrel…moron…cheater…
November 17th, 2006 at 9:03 am
not a very good idea to be friends with your ex anymore…
i define friendship in so many ways and it can be of various levels.
if to keep a constant communication, an ex can therefore be classified as a BOSSOM FRIEND…someone who is at the present, is already apathetic with your own concerns (and likewise you to him/her)…but who pretends to be still concerned…
case to case basis…and in my own, absolutely no Genuine friendship can emerge…a superficial friendship follows any breakup…
November 18th, 2006 at 6:40 am
You can never ever befriend your ex even if both of you claimed you parted being friends….
i have a misunderstanding now with my gf because of my ex and i am hard time to settle the issue that caring for an ex doesnt mean wanting her back….
November 18th, 2006 at 6:46 am
if lovers remain friends after their relationship, it only means……. they still love each other or they never were…
November 28th, 2006 at 5:11 am
halooo everybody…………..
November 28th, 2006 at 5:13 am
wwwwaaaaooooouuuuuu everybody
December 3rd, 2006 at 11:35 am
have anyone explore the idea of never being loved and therefore never seek love and so never know love and thus never come across in their mind of hating ex or wanting to remain friends with ex? If one never encounter the tramatic emotion of love and lost and gone by, then the desire of being love again or finding the Mr/Ms Right/Perfer might not be so prominent.
December 5th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Becoming friends after the breakup truly depends upon the two individuals involved. I have remained friends with an ex-girlfriend. However, it is a distant friendship. We go out for coffee and catch up on life, however, this only happens when neither of us have a significant other. I can be a good thing, but very unusal in urban areas. Maintaining a friendship after the breakup is more likely in rural areas for obvious reasons.
D
December 6th, 2006 at 11:29 am
I’m pretty good friends with my ex …and he really help me out a lot…don’t know what I’ll do without him. So I can’t say I agree…although it took a long time to get to this point.
December 12th, 2006 at 3:45 am
actually its all depend on the reason/s why couple end the relationship…….if the reason is not that complicated then they can be friends
December 13th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
we have so many opinions about this matter, and its not a choice to be what is right and not.but for me, NO. i dont have to be friends with an EX, its done and its over. but we could just be civil.
December 16th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
HHEHEH
WELL IM RELATED WITH TAHT RYT NOW……NAHHHH…. WELLL WAHT CAN I SAY … ITS TRUE …. BUT U HAVE TO ADMIT THE truth …..
December 22nd, 2006 at 11:21 pm
A wise man in that ‘Bang TV’ said that theres only one answer for such..
CLEAR BREAK!!
i agree with that
December 26th, 2006 at 5:36 am
based from experience… it’s hard. aside from the broken trust and the pain or anger you might still feel.. there’s that familiarity which can sometimes make you forget that right now, both of you should be behaving as friends.. hehehe
January 1st, 2007 at 8:25 pm
i think much better na maging friend na lang keo; kesa maging magkaaway keo!
January 6th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
for me parang ang hirap gwin na maging friend ko ang x ko kc pno nlang yong mga nakaraan nmin db, prang ang hirap tanggapin na makita ko syang may kasamang iba tpos nglalambingan sla,maaalala ko 2loy ang nakaraan nmin ky6a much better nlang na kalimutan ko sya at wag ng pansinin pa,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
January 6th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
for me parang ang hirap gwin na maging friend ko ang x ko kc pno nlang yong mga nakaraan nmin db, prang ang hirap tanggapin na makita ko syang may kasamang iba tpos nglalambingan sla,maaalala ko 2loy ang nakaraan nmin ky6a much better nlang na kalimutan ko sya at wag ng pansinin pa,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
January 8th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
well for me…dpnde f how ur relationship ended…but f its worst then i rather not to be friend with my ex…so that i can forget him totally n can move on easilly..
January 8th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
I agree with cyril’s comment, I never crave a friendship with an ex because I want a clean break to forget and move on.
January 8th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
My first love broke my heart when she passed away very long time ago. After she’s gone, it’s the time I realized how much we loved each other and how precious those moments were.
She’s now an angel.
January 8th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Before I can say “yes, we can be friends after our break-up”, but now I don’t think so…Well, you can be still communicating like greeting each other during special occassions(like you said, birthdays, christmas, etc.). But only that and no more. It’s a bit weird when you get friendly again and begin to share your life with a new guy to your ex. It’s just..weird..You may remain friends but not as close your other friends…
hope to read more of your blogs
love reading it 
January 8th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
i can….but he’s not open minded enough….jesus~
January 8th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
I can relate to this… yeah ex’s can’t be our friends anymore after clear break ups coz past is past. No turning back… move on. Peace of mind and respect for your self and for your present partner.
If no closure… well go and be his friend just to end up.
January 9th, 2007 at 12:50 am
your ryt daphne… your very ryt!!!! nice blog…
January 10th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
such a great write up..full of sense that a lots of girls can relate,including me…
January 11th, 2007 at 7:33 am
it is possible for two ex-lovers to be friends because there’s still a redeeming factor and it’s called: FORGIVENESS. here’s a line from one of the Eagles’ song “Heart of the Matter”:
i’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my weak gets weak, and my soul even shatters but i think it’s about, forgiveness, even if you don’t love me anymore…
January 16th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Well, it all depends upon the persons involved. When you got your heart really broken, it seems that the person who broke it is the most unfeeling brute you ever met. But sometimes we also have to put our selves in the shoes of the other and try to understand. Anyway glad to read this blog, reminds me of a similar scenario. WEll, ain’t there a passage that says, love your friends as well as your enemies(including your ex and his wife) heheheh.
January 20th, 2007 at 12:49 am
Being friends with your ex depends on the why’s of the breaking up. In my entire life, I only have 2 exes, 1 is still a friend and the other, was supposed to be a friend. The first one remained a friend because he is a neighbor, a family friend and a bestfriend’s sibling. Do I have a choice? Well actually we remained friends because we broke up without breaking ones heart. We both realized the relationship just simply wont work. When we see each other, as if nothing happened, but then that part in my life is well kept in me. BUT THEN I PARTED WITH MY OTHER EX bittirly, for me he is the heartbreaker, for him I am…After about 6 years, we met somewhere and thought just old friends asking each other’s what abouts and I temporarily forgot the pains, as I went home I recalled, then I hate him again, I remembered how he hurt me. Now I often see him on where he works, but I just cant take him as a friend anymore. No way……
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:51 am
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January 26th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I tire to befriend my ex for old times’ sake.. and well, it dodnt work out. It just wont. Even if we parted in good terms, its just so hard pretending evrything’s will remain just the same way as they used to be. He calls me every single day and even more than that.. and asks how i am doing. How on earth can i move on wd d way hes treating me? So i brace up myself and finally had d courage to tell him to give us both space. And since then, he never called me back.
January 26th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
hmm..i guess you actually can be friends with an ex…
after all “friends” doesnt mean you 2 need to bond…hang-out nor see each other…
“friends” has a lot of meanings..
January 28th, 2007 at 8:55 am
People have different view about friendship. Even friends become enemies and that’s not different about ex’s. We must first understand what’s the meaning of it to ourselves. How do you define friendship? There’s a general term for it but you as person, what is friendship to you?
I guess, maybe most relationships are based on the “desire” to be each other’s boyfriend or girlfriend and it has nothing to do with friendship i.e. attraction, sexual appeal, etc. The main motive of getting someone to be someone’s love is mainly the desire to be with him/her or because he’s/she’s my type. When that interest fades, all you have is a person whom you hate/despise, or resent. Since you are not friends with that person in the first place, it’s better off to completely forget about that person and move on.
Making an ex to be your friend won’t work when you already have friends who care for you no matter what happens (if you get fat, ugly, and such). Ex’es don’t make good friends even if you’ve been intimate with them. There’s something in you that they don’t care to know or understand which only your friends know about and accept.
Friendship isn’t made overnight or just a couple of months. Even if you become friends with someone, it has to be tested. If a love relationship passes the tests that friendships do then you got something promising going on there.
You can be a lover to someone without being a friend to that person. if you lose that love, there’s nothing left but just plain memories. Making friendship out of history maybe doesn’t make sense to someone.
However, some relationships are rooted on friendship. This is a good candidate for marriage because getting married to your friend (IMO) or a friend material type, is what makes marriage work.
If both of you are history then move on (don’t linger). Find a new lover quick but don’t lose your friends — they are the ones who’ll to catch you if you get dumped.
For me, a friend is a person that cares about you while the rest are just acquaintances.
January 29th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Hi Daph, most of there replies cover the wide range of feelings experienced by breakups and pretty much leave nothing left to talk about.
My answer would have to be a double edged sword.
a) The person or both that did achieve a honest true love and have truly moved on with high standards will not be able to be a true friend. Hateful, betrayal, angry feelings well be harboured possibly for life but the one that believed it was true perfect love will find forgiveness but will choose not to be friends.
Reasoning is: when you no longer become selfish and angry you will realise how counterproductive and destructive an ex friendship will be for the future love lives of both couples. Think about it, dont be selfish give your partner the same as you would give yourself. Its a statement of self worth, a statement of your standards. Lets face it everyone wants the same thing. That thing is: we dont want to share our life partner with anyone, especialy where the friendship and sex life was so strong once. Ask yourself where are your standards, what do you want and expect and make sure you treat your partner atleast as good as your own expectations.
Ask yourself, if you cheated would you be prepared to accept your partner cheating and then carry on a friendship. You must put yourself in their shoes as best as you can, try to feel it from their poit of view.
b) The other person is motivated my hurt and anger. Be it to stay on and ruin your future or on the other hand destroy your confidence, controll you, make use of you etc. Revenge the whole lot, all be it subtly - sometimes you wont even know.
c) I beleive in true love, absolute and honest unconditional will conquer all. (yes yes…very rare, but some people win the big lotto)
So out of these options you get approx 5 combinations, idealy you want both to be A and A.
Whewh, what do u guys & gals think.
cut nails on both hands to same length… etc.
As a last note, your partner is in every sense an extension of yourself. Like you are the leg on your body the other partner is the other leg. You are one ear they are the other. If you can abstract on that idea
Abstract again on weaknesses and strengths, my left hand is much stronger than my right so let that hand do the hard labour (masculine) so the right hand is delicate and detailed let her be the care giver (feminine)
Anyway getting carried away there. Thanx for reading.
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I know it is possible. I was friends with my ex for several years before we started dating. Then we dated for about five years and broke up last spring. It was weird for a couple weeks, but then we fell back into our old (pre-dating) friendship. We see each other all the time and there are no hard feelings between us at all. When you spend so much time with somebody and invest so much of yourself into a relationship, you should be able to maintain that friendship.
February 6th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
HI NICE WRITE UP..WELL ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT EVERY SITCH HAS IT OWN EXPLANATION ,IT WAS REALLY DEPENDING ON HOW THE BREAK UP WENT THRU,,BUT BASED ON MY EXPERIENCES,,IT WAS REALLY POSSIBLE…IF IT DOESNT HURT YOU ANYMORE THEN ONE DAY YOULL JUST WOKE UP AND SAY,”HEY ITS NOT THAT BAD ANYWAY,IT GAINED ME INSTEAD”..AND NOW IM STRONG ENOUGH TO FACE SUCH…U
February 20th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
its so nice!!!!!!!!
February 20th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
i want to he friend again!! its not easy but not possible huh..
February 20th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
I missed one of my exs. it’s not that i miss what we were doing as lovers but the things we do when we were best of friends. I missed the moment when i could tell her almost everything knowing that she was there ready to sympathize and say “let’s discuss this over a cup of coffee.”
it’s really heartbreaking to look at the past when everything changed because of some personal reasons. i just wish she didn’t become my girlfriend.
February 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
actually im on dat moment na! i had dis boyfrend hu’s bestfrend was her 3years exgf! wat was worst on it, dat bitch was flirting wid my bf! of corz.. sobrang bait ng bf ko kaya ayun nagpa2uto!
February 20th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
i think is so hard for us to do those things to our love before..You stel remember all your past years, u shared a lot of things in your relationship, but if time will come we have to admit those things.. for me i think its hard to do.. thanks.
February 20th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
it’s up to us if we want to be good friends with our ex’s.. it is possible if we really want to..
February 20th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
hi>..nice one
February 20th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
sometimes when you insists that you and your ex are still freinds, and if both of you aare in a new relationship, some party might be jealous. like in my part, i dont want my husband to communicate/ to be friends anymore with her ex.
February 20th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
hhhmmm.. u can be friends y not 4 as long as u know wer u both stand after d break up, ryt? my husband ex s my good friend ryt now & im proud 2 announce it.. no pretentions.
im not d type n mahilig mangalkal ng past ng ibang tao & dat mybe d reason y we get along 2gether.. past s past!
February 20th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
honestly, you could.
ex #1 :
i for one, am still best friends with one of me exs.
we were best friends before we hooked up, and of course.. it took time for us to eventually be ‘best friends’ again. but only for a couple of months. we were always, always the two compatible buddies. and as hard as we try not to, we still care for each other alot. and there’s always a soft spot for your first love, and we’re each other’s (first love i mean). and yeah, but even if from time to time we do confess that the feeling is still there. but we’ve come to decide that, it’s best for both parties that we remain this way. he even sometimes offer to help me out with my love life.
ex #2:
him and i are still friends.
we were close friends before we got together as well, and unfortunately, he’s my #1 ex’s best friend. and i got together with this one way before #1. but the three of us are cool about things. no hard feelings, no nothing. but i had a fight with #2 over my break up with #1? hahaha. long story. but we ARE still friends. and do still keep in touch. he still help each other out on our love life.
ex #3:
this one, it took us a while to return to our previous friend-chatty friendship.
as we broke up, and he had migrated to london. he’s still a friend. we chat online. and we’ve been chatting quite alot of late. and he treats me just as he did before.
ex #5:
he tries his best to keep in touch with me. but i just distance myself from him. too awkward for me. although, i did go to his birthday dinner recently (i was forced to turn up that night). so yeah. i’m still pretty much agitated by him. and it disgusts me to think of what we used to do. :S
February 20th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
and mr best friend/ex #1 does call me most of the time at night. and we talk for long hours, as we could talk about everything, anything & nothing for god knows how long. which is a good thing. so yeah, that’s rare huh?
February 20th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Based on my experienced, it is surely possible to maintain your friendship relationship but it takes time.. It takes time because u’ve bin hurt, stay as friends after all? Why not?! If u’ve spent almost of ur lyf with him, into dat relationship. Bakit ang hindi.. ayt?! It all depends on how deep ur relationship bin thru anyway.
I am glad 2 read dis blog, thank you!!!
February 20th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
I do not differentiate love from friendship, for me, both virtues are on the different side of the same coin. Its an act of extreme stupidity to offer friendship to someone you do not love.
March 10th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
actually, i didn,t finished reading the blog but i admit and i wil say,all u hav written there s a good one. hope you will continue writing nice poems or somewhat advice.thanks for leting ma read your nice blog..
March 10th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
yeah ryt..
March 10th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
if we have a prob of cause we can’t run away….
March 10th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
its really hard to be remain as friends even we decided to do so especially with my case we know that we’re still friends pero ibang iba na…unlike before
March 13th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
raizen gun…………….
March 13th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
its a big N and a O for me…wrll come on his my ex duh kiss my ass
March 13th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
suck my dick?
March 13th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
hi!i enjoy reading ur article!!because im in that situation at this time and im confuse ’cause my ex is the reason why im in prison right now!he left me and now he has a baby with another bitch but still u know i love him!and i still want to be his friend..am i that stupid???
March 13th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
as you have implied some people do and some dont..it really depends on how relationships end right? on my part all of my ex are my friends. i dont think it does matter if you’ve seen each other naked before or you always get reminded by the scent both of you wears, cuz at the end of the road we all go separate ways and move on with our own partners with or without friendship between you two.
nice blog! keep it coming!
March 13th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
hmnn..it’s ok to remain friends with your ex for as long as you know you were able to move on na and he also does..
March 13th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Its hard to be friends again with your ex. I don’t think its a good idea because it will hurt more. but it’s better to wish your ex good luck
March 13th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
for me all my ex bf r my frends, not that so good but i can say nmn n we broke up in a good way.. sometimes im so selfish to one of them.. i think my konting kurot p rin sya s akin (gets)… hay why d world is like this..
March 13th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
yeah its all the same old story anyway… everybody can be bad at times so either u or your ex are responsible for the outcome of your relationship…aND HOW IT ENDED ayt?
March 13th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
yeah…8s reli hard 2 b friends wd ur ex’s. U cn stil get n touch wd dem but being friends s 2tally different story. It’s even very hard to tell dem that u already replaced them…
anywayz, it’s a very nice write up. A person reading this can really pause for a moment and think about their ex’s…
March 13th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
breakup is hurts & sucks. i lost a 8yrs relationship. so wat, nothing gonna change. just improved yourself to better. as time passes, u will think of your past, sweet & ugly memories. life is like that. why not be friend rather than hate someone u loved b4. nobody is right or wrong in any relationship.. my opinion.
March 13th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
For me, we can’t really be friends with an ex. Pwedeng parang kakilala na lang, you can greet them when you saw them but never make a constant communication like a close friend does. Parang hindi maganda at walang paggalang sa bagong relasyon kung nakikipagkaibigan pa rin sa dati. Siguro tama na iyong naging kaibigan mo sila dati, ipagdasal na sana ok lang din sila,at masaya na kayo sa kanya-kanya nyong buhay. We’ll be thankful with the good memories pero hanggang doon na lang iyon. Nakapanghihinayang man ang nawalang friendship,at least,pareho na kayong nakamove on at nakasurvive na wala ang isa’t isa so ayos na iyon. Sometimes kase, being friends with somebody makes you feel dependent on that someone at pag nawala, magtatanong na naman na sayang ang friendship, paano nawala. Sa totoo lang, napakahirap i-let go ang isang kaibigan. Kaya totoo rin na mas matibay na foundation ang friendship, mas mahirap malimutan.
Saka ako, kung may boyfriend ako na nakikipagkaibigan pa sa ex nya, I will surely get jealous. Hindi dahil wala akong tiwala, kundi hindi talaga tama para sa akin.At hinding hindi ko iimbitahin ang ex ko o ex ng boyfriend ko sa kasal ko, at hindi ko lalo kukuning ninang ng magiging anak ko ang sinumang ex-gf ng groom ko, or ako ang makipagkaibigan sa ex-gf ng groom ko. No, no, sabihin ng selosa ako pero once an ex-gf of my boyfriend, hindi na magandang makikipagusap pa sa kanya.
Eto ay opinyon ko lamang po.(”,)
March 14th, 2007 at 12:08 am
Being friends with your ex is somehow possible only if both of you have moved on and happy with your new found one….
But conflicts may arise if any one of you has still a feeling for the other….more so if both of you do…
March 14th, 2007 at 10:14 am
I’ve completely cut out all of my ex-moron-boyfriends from my life. I’ve got something better now. Frankly, I don’t have a clue where they are and what’s going on with them. I really don’t care.
These days I’ve got the American Dream.
I’m soo satisfied.
March 24th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
PWEDE YAN…IT HAPPENED TO ME…KUNG TRUE LOVE MO…PWEDE PA KAYO MAGING FRIENDS…
March 24th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
woohoo.
just want to say hi to my ex. JOHN PAUL.
still missing you.
March 24th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
for photogenic:
whut?!! kung true love mo..?!
duh.
edi magkakabalikan pa talaga kayoh nian.
e LOVE mo nga e.
meaning more than frends parin ang turing mo sa kanya.
well. that will obvouisly not work out.
LOVE mo nga e.
March 24th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
EWAN KO DI KO ALAM!!!
March 24th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
i think that was great..but how we can throw our feeling??
we’ll cry b’coz remember what was we do in the past,without we can touch anymore..saw her make a phone call with she’s new boy,and we can do anything?? its was so hurt!! for me..?? i’m not gonna do that..but its so nice artice..
March 24th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
OO TAMA KA SHERYL… NOTHING POSSIBLE WHEN IT COMES IN TRUE LOVE!!!
March 24th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
big no!friends can be lovers but lovers or ex lover cant be friends!hehehehehehhe
March 24th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
its possible that ex-lovers be
friends if both party is happy with their present lovelife.
April 12th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
weehee hee iam good friends with my ex, friends with benefits pero hindi kami. we still miss each other but we know we can’t be together now. labo noh?
April 12th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
ashjkutu
April 12th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
I like ur blog indeed…
juz like me…sigh…
really so hard 2 b fren again 4 both break up couple…???
really juz hope 2 b fren again only dat…
bt he didnt gif diz chance…
he AVOID ME orhhh…
can i b ur fren however?
April 12th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
yeah!!!! it’s tru it’s hard 2 be frend w/ u ex!!!!
April 12th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
for me ok.lang na maging friend ko yung ex ko.kaya lang mahirap masasaktan nyo lang ang isat-isa uli kaya utang na loob wag nalang,para tahimik buhay nyo.tutal tapos na yung time na para sa inyo edi tangapin na lang na hangang dun nalang talaga.at least pag may nagtanong kung kamusta na yung ex mo may masasabi ka na ok lang sya.hindi mo sasabihin na mag-ka away kayo.you know what i mean peace.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
for me ok.lang na maging friend ko yung ex ko.kaya lang mahirap masasaktan nyo lang ang isat-isa uli kaya utang na loob wag nalang,para tahimik buhay nyo.tutal tapos na yung time na para sa inyo edi tangapin na lang na hangang dun nalang talaga.at least pag may nagtanong kung kamusta na yung ex mo may masasabi ka na ok lang sya.hindi mo sasabihin na mag-ka away kayo.you know what i mean peace.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
hello my friend
April 12th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
hhhmm, ryt now, my ex and i are good friends.. we juz forgot bowt the past and lived life normally..=) we sometimes hang-out, and his parents still wants me to vizit them at their house..
but we both are in a new relationship now..=)
April 12th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
After i breakoff with my first love. I didnt see him, hear from him until todate. It has been 4 years now. In fact, i just breakoff with my second love. I still keep in touch with my ex#2. I wish i can befriend again with my ex#1. Altought i am the one who told him that i cant be friend with him anymore. See, you only can befriend with your ex…only when you have get over him. Else you are only lying to yourself and worse you might even get hurt once again. Be a good horse.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
no I cant. and i dont want. what for? it will remind me how stupid i am to trust him. It will flash many memories. The less of him, the better.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
u can be friends. but after some time. give urself & that ex of yours some time. say, at least 2 years. cuz i did that. i moved on and neva thought of forging a frienship with my ex, but after 2 years, he called me. and yes, now we are good friends.. so, being a friend with ur ex is not sumthing stupid. it is devastating, the moment u walked off from his life, but u learned sumthin outta it isnt. i rather think that the rship failed because of two parties than completely blaming my ex .. so in that way, when u see ur ex, u two definitely can be friends.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
i just broke up with my bf. at first i thought it’s ok. but i realized, no. i can’t. never. thank you.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
u can be friends. but after some time. give urself & that ex of yours some time. say, at least 2 years. cuz i did that. i moved on and neva thought of forging a frienship with my ex, but after 2 years, he called me. and yes, now we are good friends.. so, being a friend with ur ex is not sumthing stupid. it is devastating, the moment u walked off from his life, but u learned sumthin outta it isnt. i rather think that the rship failed because of two parties than completely blaming my ex .. so in that way, when u see ur ex, u two definitely can be friends.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
ya, agreeeeeee!!! Not bestfriends. Thats like the most naive thing I ever heard.
perhaps just friend. And it still gonna cross some of the 5 reasons you stated.
I’ve been the heartbreaker and the hertbreakee…but I do better on the heartbreakee. the 5 reasons doesnt effect me whatsoever =D
April 12th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
from the phrase “we got to move on”, it is possible to be a good friend with ur ex.. we r all just humans with limitations. Know matter how brave or intelligent we are, we still commit mistakes.. we still fail.. But what matters most is how we make our mistakes and failures as stepping stone on changing our selves and our lives.. Changes in such a way that we won’t fail again.. Same concept cn be applied on intimate relationships.. being a good friend with your ex is not a big deal.. This is the proof that you totally moved on.. That you accepted the fact that you are not meant for each other.. If you really moved on, you wont mind of the smell of the perfume of your ex every you talk to him/her, you wont be affected of the things that reminds the happy moments with your ex.. “Charged for experience”.. isn’t it? Otherwise, it just very hypothetical question.. And can be logically answered.. If you have no feeling anymore with your ex, you wont have a hard time of making friends with him/her…
April 12th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
… HmMmP!!! aCtUaLLy Me aNd mY ex RyT KnOw aRe iN GooD CoNdItIoN!!! WE’RE GoOd FRiEnDs!! we fOrgeT BoUt tHe pAsT ANd sTaRt a nEw AnD BeTTER RElAtIOnShIp as frIeNdS!!! I kNOw it’S Not tHaT EaSy aFTER All tHe thInGs hAppeN 2 YoUr RElAtIONsHiP YoU CaN sTill Be fRIenDS!!??? I’Ts mUcH Better Na FrIeNds KIo tHaN yOu sNOOb EaCh oThER DvA!!???bAsE On mY ExPiRiEnCe it’s nice 2 mAkE FRIeNdS 2 Ur eX bf!!! tHaN 2 sNooB hIM!!
April 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
after what my ex did to me? HELL NO! but i can try to at least be civil to him.
April 12th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
after what my ex did to me? HELL NO! but i can try to at least be civil to him.
April 12th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Frends, not ever1 situation is end up so bad as u think. If u feel hate for some1, dun realize urself is so pity and going unhappy for ur life coz u alwiz haunted by this situation. Life is so much for us could not be plan and estimated. Between life, there still got friendship, our parents and our future so much to go on. If we wasted so much time to search out our the true love, wat for we use it the precious time to create down some hope for other in need and do some success work to achive ur better life. Some kind, every mesurement ruler building in our heart is different but if u trust ur afford and confidence work sacfrice, it must surely u could found sth is more important than u pay hard work on love. Love and dream always be our side and could be feel when u success every stage of life. Dun ask me wat time u could find out the truth but is must be better asking urself how much time u want to find? Just there have so much good words and advise to say and created on this world but depend for u how far u could ability to understand the advise and goodness. LOVE IS JUST A PART OF OUR ISSUE MUST GO THROUGH ON OUR LIFE BUT NOT COMPLETED FOR ALL THE CONTENT STAGE OF MEANING LIFE. Talking about love, i am aslo the loser but as less i could understand the explanation and i am pleased and bless for god giving me a special person’s, my ex-gf loving me so much b4 and giving me the happiness moment there are sure cannot be found on my dictionary. Of course by the way, it must be some sadness moment happenned it b4 but i use it to remembered to change for my bad attitude myself so ppl saying is ” where u fall down, u must wake up from the way u falling”. From my dictionary, i know the love could not be force and using the calibration ruler to measure up who is wrong or rite? Otherwise, it is aslo could not be compared who is contribute the most so much? As long as u love him/her b4 is enough for each other loz coz u must be feel blessed coz u have been arranged it to be together to go through the happiness moment and both sacrifice the time, money, feeling u have and so on. I do agree it is hard to be a friend again with ur ex but every human must be believe ‘ let it go through as usual life’. Some kind of fate, we cannot be escaped and hide it from urself. Maybe it will be new dicoveries await u when u applying the new mode of thinking to reach the target. Nothing is impossible! Somekind when u starting with him/her again, of course u and him/her must feel the different of meaning love and more appreciate each other. Lose one time does not remain u forever lose. Look failure in the eye, learn from the mistakes and we’ll succeed later on. TODAY’S LOSER WILL BECOME TOMORROW’S WINNER.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
nopE..Its Bad for me..cause after..of what he done!..LOL
April 12th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
——————————————————————————–
FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS
in many relationships that don’t end in marriage (well actually even then), there usually is a time when you have to say “hasta la vista baby.” the two of you have shared memories together that when you look back upon, you will either laugh or cry. but whatever that memory might be, once a relationship ends, it’s time to say “thanks” or “no thanks” for everything and move on.
but somewhere along the line, there’s always the “let’s remain friends” compromise to many breakups. it’s the much gentler way of saying, “hey, you’re not that bad. it’s not you. it’s me. but look, i still want to be friends with you.” *smile* the question that my friends and i discuss a lot is:
can you be good friends with your ex?
ok. let’s face it. whenever there’s a breakup, it’s usually never mutual. usually one person is the one that causes or initiates the breakup and is labeled “heartbreaker”, while the other person is left hurting and dwelling on the breakup for weeks on end. ok. i admit. even the heartbreaker could hurt too, but usually the one who initiated the breakup moves on faster than the one who didn’t.
after having meditated and burned incense on this question, my friends and i have come to the conclusion that NO, it’s very rare for many people to become truly good friends with their ex’s.
take me for example. although my ex and i agreed that we would be good friends, we’re really not. sure, i get a greeting on my birthday and during the holidays and i just greeted him on his birthday, but those are about the only times we communicate. and i actually prefer it this way. i’m sure he and his wife now does too.
however, i have a friend whose boyfriend and his ex have become best friends instead. whoa! yes. it’s true. it can be done. but, when your ex is your best friend and you tell your best friend things about your current relationship, hmm, you could land yourself in a heap of mess.
so why can’t ex’s remain friends?
here’s some reasons i’ve read on why the can’t:
there’s always a heartbreaker and the heartbreakee. same as mentioned above.
you know what they look like underneath all those clothes. you’ve seen each other naked. whenever you smell their special perfume or cologne, or whenever you hear music that was special to the both of you, you’re always going to remember that person and the things you used to do together ( ie, make love, make-out, etc)
you can’t divulge intimate details about your current relationship to your ex. it would just be wrong for you to tell your ex you just had the greatest sex of your life with someone else.
bitterness comes into play. an ex can pretend to be a friend, but deep down they’d rather see you and your current partner dead (jk).
jealousy. seriously - who really likes seeing their ex being lovey dovey with someone else anyway?
——————————————————————————–
CAN YOU BE GOOD FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX?
you guys tell me.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
iujjjj
April 12th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
ummm…well…uhhh…I couldn’t say anything…
April 12th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
wow daphne is a slut
April 12th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
It is saddest time when we realize that we could not live together with someone we love.
I Keep my ex as gud fren, like frenship of David and Jonathan
April 12th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
after what my luv did to me i’m now very happy!!!(joke lng 2o)
April 12th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
nice very good
April 12th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
cute guys add me up aica_saito@yahoo.com
April 12th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
i don’t know, i want to, but its hard and hurting
April 12th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
friendship is good way to deal w/ som1.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
wala me msavi hahaha
April 12th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
hi
to
you
just
call me
dignos
4 short
……….^_^
mga brokenheart pala ….
kaung lahat
anyway…….
April 12th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
baguuuuuussssssssss……….
April 12th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
iT,S better to not indulge in any relationship between opposite sex b4 married…..WHO AGREE WIT ME??
April 12th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
i dun even had the chance to say goodbye when we walk away from our r/ship and married another girl of his father’s choice..i dun know how he’s thinking and feel so betrayed until now. am a liar if i say i’ll pray for their happiness because from wat i know, he never met the women b4 and how on earth he could spent the rest of his life with her. damn, i’m hurt to hell and wish i never met him. there is only two answers i have in mind:
1. he was really forced to marry the person or
2. i am the one who didn’t realized my stupidness from the start..
for watever reason it is, i dun think i want to see him anymore..and he can’t be my best friend as before..
April 12th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Sure impossible!!!!how can it be?…ex become good friends!!!! who will be so crazy wan to make herself suffer???…break mean break no other reason for being frens or wat so ever…Do you wan to see the one you love with other girl??? nonsense!!! love is selfish…so there is no reason that ex could be good friend!!! unless you are the one heartbreaker..coz heartbreaker usually have cold blood!!!hahahhaa..just kidding anyway…haha
April 12th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
q
April 12th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
i’m best friends with one my ex… but then again we only dated for a month, and before that we were really close friends… he was so sweet about the break-up and kept calling me to see if i was ok… but the ex after that, he totally broke my heart so being friends with him is just a nightmare. i guess it depends on how you break up…
April 12th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
i agree but friends became lovers…so lovers still be friends because there started of being friends.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
…..aus lng un!!
kng mahal mo xia
accept mo nlng!!!
kahit msakit!!!
April 12th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
so it depends to you..
April 12th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
yeah..its really hard to be friends with your ex,,but this goes to those who got hurt..right?its easier said than done!!but for those the what so called”breaker”its easier coz they are the one who initiate it.
but for me,as i talked for my self i can say that i had a good relationship now with my ex’s,umm i mean somehow it took a while to get to it coz of the stuff it caused you after..like the pain,sorrow,emptiness the feeling of not being worthty..and others. but now as of this moment i can sincerely say that most of my ex’s ahhh except for one as i can remember who happened to be my husband and recently part ways also…i can say that i am friends with them…But again i believe that being friends with your ex’s all depends on the person and the break ups..if you can manage to be friends with your ex inspite of all the pain it caused you then why not!!i mean you’ve still shared a lifetime memory once in your life..so if the bitterness is gone why not try to be friends again?you might never know somewhere along the way you’ll get back in each others arm!!whahaha…last thing i can say is that…happiness is a choice,so if you wanna be happy,then go find your happiness..by the way this is aweng.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
yes, we could be good friends. problem is, he doesn’t want to and that’s just too bad.
i like your blog!
April 12th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
No way ..after he broke my heart…
April 12th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
my ex can’t accept me as his frenz..i dunno why becoz the reason we broke up is…..huhu…he’s good guy..after we broke up..i alwayz spend time 2 col him and i ever borrow his money…lol..i really love him…so much..no one could change our memory…i love him!!!!
April 12th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
saya tertarik dengan catatan blog kamu…memang betul kita memang susah nak berbaik semula dengan kisah lama..walau bagaimanapun, masih banyak lagi yang boleh kita lakukan selain dari bersama dia.. mengingati ex sebenarnya samalah seperti memutar kembali kisah sedih.setelah dia merosakkan kepercayaan dan hati kita, sangat susah untuk terima dia sebagai kawan.
bunga bukan sekuntum,
kumbang bukan seekor..
yakin pada diri.. masih ramai teman2 yang sudi untuk bersama kita..
selamat tinggal kisah sedih…
i’m not sure all of u can understand that..hehe
April 12th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Times will heal heart breaks..it takes time…learn to forgive & forget…one day we will find the one and only love..trust God will make things beautiful..when the one who initiates break up, maybe we are not suitable, we are not fated to be together or its their lost if they don cherish us which i always believe…life must happy…*wink* there are many ppl who cares for us…
April 12th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
My ex n I are friends now…we still hang-out together and so on.Even Through we’re friends at time we still Do things as bf n gf stuff.even she dates someone else or me goin out with other gals.we still open-up and tell-tales.maybe that’s y we’re still ok as friends.but I’m not too very sure when one of us start up a new relationship w someone new….but i guess n hope we still cool u know like that song from gwen…(Kool)
April 12th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
haha i agree to wat you have said
April 12th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
hay!! magaling ang frendster kasi lahat naga2wa sa pag connect ng tao na d mo kila2… mahusay bravo!!!
April 12th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
wla akong msabi eh…..=)
April 12th, 2007 at 11:57 pm
very great
April 13th, 2007 at 12:06 am
no way!!!
April 13th, 2007 at 12:12 am
no…it can be very hurt..
April 13th, 2007 at 12:30 am
i prefer tol ove
him silently.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:30 am
for me wala nmang msma qng maging gudfrends kau na ex mo..kesa nmn nagend n nga relationship nyo eh pti b nmn frendship…pati kung ayw mu mkpgfrends xmpre llbas n bitter k p din db?lets jst face da reality that being frends with our ex is not impossible though my mga bgay n dpat iconsider at mdmeng instances at limitation,,..ryt?its in my own opinion..pti wlang mwwla qng mkpgfwends tau s ex ntin..uu nkkailang kasi xmpwe my time n bgla nlng magkakatinginan tpos mpptwa kau kc my naalala kau db?…bsta “Accept past as past w/o denying or discarding it” Cum wat may!!!at cguro mas gagaan loob ko kng frends kme ng ex q xe atleast nkkita q p din xa nkksma..xmpwe khit pano andun p din ung love khit kaunti dhil s tgal din ng pinagsmhan..pero depende din s tao un kasi iba ex q…hehehe and wer frends as in mwla n lhat wag lng frendship nmin…nkmove on n kmi pro sad part lng mnsan pag my mga bgay n gs2 k sbhin di mu agad mssbi, 2lad nlng ng pag my ayaw k o ayaw mo s bago nya db? but dats life,,,bsta nani2wla nlng aq n kng kme eh mgi2ng kme s huli…hndi nmn pagiging martyr twag dun eh…
April 13th, 2007 at 12:30 am
i prefer to love
him silently.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:36 am
It is toooo complicated..maybe nope is the best answer
April 13th, 2007 at 12:40 am
I am just a human not an angel. I dont think i can be good friend to my ex. I absolutely cannot stand see my ex with his current girl kissing each other or even just walking together in front of me. Call me bad or anything you want but hey.. get real, i still feel his lips on mine, now another chick with him??? i can not even imagine how hurt it will be..
April 13th, 2007 at 12:48 am
masasabi ko lang ang stupid nya pag hindi pa xa pumayg mkipagkaibgan!!!!!!!!!! wihihihihihihi
April 13th, 2007 at 12:51 am
wow! I like ur blog.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:53 am
no commint..hihi
April 13th, 2007 at 12:53 am
hmmm..hirap tsOng..complicated sobrA!!
April 13th, 2007 at 1:00 am
hAi!. great blog.. i like it.. so refined and easy to understand..
im realy in that situation.. my ex now is my bestfriend.. shes with another guy and im with another gurl also..
but the thing is we want to gain back that we where before.. she loves me so much and i love her so much also… it gives pain on me seeing her with another guy.. and it kills her also that im with another girl.. i think our feelings was provoke by seeing each other usually.. were bestfriends so we need to see each other..
April 13th, 2007 at 1:06 am
Hi Daphne
I not really have a relationships befor.
But I can understar your feeling. Cause I always ask a for girl relationships and they will say. Sorry I don wan have a relationships now OR sorry I don have the feeling to have ones. So I think my feeling is same as your. But I don even give up loving some one. same as you Daphne don give up too…
Love is always around us.
April 13th, 2007 at 1:31 am
wel its true…bt 4 me its hard 2 pretend dat ur ok bt ur rily not bec,u mis d memories 2geder,,bt f u dnt hav d filings its ok.
April 13th, 2007 at 1:32 am
i thnk i will not be a gud frnd to my ex bcoz ther’s a feeling pa e masa2ktan lalo aq pag gnun but it’s up 2 u if u will be a frnd 2 ur ex =)
April 13th, 2007 at 1:32 am
ill still love u my bai!!! n’ ill continue loving u until my last breath…..
April 13th, 2007 at 1:34 am
ah.. what’s the meaning of this? Can u summarize.. hehehe… Like they said, maybe youre a good friend… 2 ur ex (what’s the meaning of “ex”) What happened to the FRIENDSTER!!!? i just saw this..
April 13th, 2007 at 1:35 am
it depends upon the situation. kung ang nakaraan nyo ay maganda,, pero kung talagang na realized nyo na hindi pala tlaga kau para sa isat isa, den go on,, do what you want,, yung sinasabi nyo na huwag na lang gawin nyo.. pero take note luv is luv,,
love is not love until someone receives it..
April 13th, 2007 at 1:35 am
it depends upon the situation. kung ang nakaraan nyo ay maganda,, pero kung talagang na realized nyo na hindi pala tlaga kau para sa isat isa, den go on,, do what you want,, yung sinasabi nyo na huwag na lang gawin nyo.. pero take note luv is luv,,
love is not love until someone receives it..
April 13th, 2007 at 1:36 am
it’s indeed one of the hardest things to do here on earth but as the old line says “forgive and forget”. God loves u so ur ex loves u as a friend. God bless.
April 13th, 2007 at 1:39 am
nice bLoggg
April 13th, 2007 at 1:41 am
fuckin shit!! ex boyfriend>? will be friend?
for me … i dont like.. anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its hurt u know!! cnaktan aq sobra!! i kill him !! fukin shit xa!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 13th, 2007 at 1:41 am
My first love broke my heart when she passed away very long time ago. After she’s gone, it’s the time I realized how much we loved each other and how precious those moments were.
She’s now an angel.
i crap tis one~
April 13th, 2007 at 1:45 am
hehe…nice write up!
i think its ok to be freind with your-ex.
however his not your enemy right, he just some guy you no longer love,but well it depends on how you guys broke up.
for me as long as our broke up was not something principle,like cheating, i think its ok and i did always be bestfreind with all my-ex,well except for one whose cheating.
and i think about pain on you seeing you’re ex with another girl, well lets face it your relationship with him is OVER so why bother… MOVE ON !!
April 13th, 2007 at 1:45 am
hihihihi…..no commint….
wawawawa…
April 13th, 2007 at 1:56 am
ei0ow ,,
ai0on ,,
zYie huR!!
uHmnn n0 c0mmEnt ak0o jan
iN publiC ..
duzt0o k0o ..
pM nio0 k0o dEN asK me
rEgardiNg dAt hayKz ..
aa bAsztah wEwan!!
dApHne kahit di m0 maintindhAn
cNAsabe q0o ,,
jAz f0ll0w uR heArt beAtz f0r!!
eN iT depeNdz nga naMAn
sA c2ati0on ayT??
hihi pM mee!!
fS : zyriel16@yahoo.com
yM : zyrielsarmiento
tEncHu mwAhmwAhmwAh
][ 16neEb0pPy ][
*' zYrieLici0uS '*
_- ckArMaguRL -_
*(=)<--_16 ;
yHap iTz mee ..
t0tAlly mE ,,
aN avErage tEen ,,
bAztah d0Nt be
a quitTERsz c0z quitTERsz
nEver wiN ,,
oWwkhE???
April 13th, 2007 at 2:08 am
ei0ow ,,
ai0on ,,
zYie huR!!
uHmnn n0 c0mmEnt ak0o jan
iN publiC ..
duzt0o k0o ..
pM nio0 k0o dEN asK me
rEgardiNg dAt hayKz ..
aa bAsztah wEwan!!
dApHne kahit di m0 maintindhAn
cNAsabe q0o ,,
jAz f0ll0w uR heArt beAtz f0r!!
eN iT depeNdz nga naMAn
sA c2ati0on ayT??
hihi pM mee!!
fS : zyriel16@yahoo.com
yM : zyrielsarmiento
tEncHu mwAhmwAhmwAh
][ 16neEb0pPy ][
*' zYrieLici0uS '*
_- ckArMaguRL -_
*(=)<--_16 ;
yHap iTz mee ..
t0tAlly mE ,,
aN avErage tEen ,,
bAztah d0Nt be
a quitTERsz c0z quitTERsz
nEver wiN ,,
oWwkhE???
April 13th, 2007 at 2:11 am
me as of now..friends kmi ng x ko..i2 lng kmi nag start ng pagging close frens ult…it was apr 10.im a married women,and he’s still single..my feelings parn kmi sa isat isa,at inamin nmn un.pero preho dn kming ngsv n dna tlga kmi pwdng magkaron ng relationship..pro naga-i love u parn kmi sa 1′t 1.anyways maybe bcoz we’re still care to each other..but hnggng dun nlng tlaga,,hnd dn masakit ngng breakup nmn noon,kya cguro mdali fr both of us n mgng close frens ult..tanx…sna makarelate kau..hweheh
April 13th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
i dont know what to say.. i guess u can nvr be friends kasi one of u will still have the same feeling that u had for that person… but take my experience as an example, best friends kme ng x ko.. at first i still had feelings but paulit ulit na nyang sinabi na wla na tlga syang feeling kya ive learned to move on with my life & at the moment i have someone to love who loves me back & at the same time my x & i are still best friends… i guess it depends on both of you on how you will work things out for the best, without losing the one you love & your best friend…. ;p
April 20th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
well,,i think it defends on the both side maganda naman un dba wat’s rong if mging frends ung mag x watahtah la p qng xperience peroh if manyari man sken yan gugustuhin q n un ska mganda frend nlng wag n mag on hehehe..huuum,,,just face the truth dont defend on the past wel,,cguroh bka sakali if my gusto p kyo sa 1′t 1 bka [wd png mgkblikan basta la lng kyong mssktan n iba..
April 20th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
its rli hard 2 b frends, after all..
w/ my current ex,
wer not in good terms actually..
i forgave him but i rli cant 4get wat he did..
he’s a f*ckin cheater..
so, tel me?
y wud we become friends after all??
April 20th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
y? because we r humans.. we all commit mistakes.. and we must also learn how to forgive and forget.. Let God be the center in your heart, in your thoughts, in all ur decisions and deeds.. Once you put GOd in ur mind and soul, it would be easy to u to forgive and make friends with those who hurt u, as how He did..
April 20th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Gosh.,
being frens with Ex..,
hmmm i dun think it’s possible.,
Cuz it will be really hurtful
to hear their stories with their current girls..,
And we can’t move on as we see or tok to our ex too much .., we’ill intend to love them more and rmbr all those memories we had…
NOPE..,
i dun think ex can be our friends/bestfriends.,
April 20th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Interesting post. Short and straighforward too! love it
April 20th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Hmm good job..very nice and interesting post..well i guess ex bf/gf couldnt be a good friends..Maybe they will but the ‘friend’ relationship wouldnt last long..So it’s better to be in the different way…
April 20th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
a marvelous blog daphne! true indeed. and many f our friendsters can relate to the situation because in one way or another we trap in a situAion like this.
just like me, i thought it would always be better to be friends with my ex but i realized its not, because if it will be, its either the feeling is still there or the feelings will come back.
so i say its really rare for ex’s to be friends, (true friends with no mixture of romantic feeling ha), but its not good also to live in hatred with ex, everyone should try to forgive and forget. exs should be civil
April 20th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
sometimes u want to be atleast friends (no more heartaches, jealousy or whatever)but the thing is even if u rili wanted that thing to happen, it can’t…coz u both hav ur own relationships now that makes it rili impossible to happen.
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:04 am
this is a good post.. i really enjoy reading ur blog.. i can somehow relate what u wrote in here wif what happened in my life
continue blogging okie!
April 26th, 2007 at 10:50 am
I m here just for Ayu….
May 14th, 2007 at 6:35 am
maybe not. both of you can move on without being friends, but neither of you can move on with being friends. accept it.
May 14th, 2007 at 6:49 am
I have to comment on this one…my bestfriend is my ex, really now. My bestfriend, that is my ex, and I always fight. We dont get along and we are always sent in the office…not my ex just me. The bad thing is…my ex new you know…is my bestfriend…its hard for me to see that. I just cant stand to see my ex…>=[
May 14th, 2007 at 6:51 am
it`s really hard..i know that `coz that`s what i`m experiencing now..i`m trying to be friend with him..but i don`t know..
May 14th, 2007 at 6:57 am
well…”everything happens for a reason…”smile and enjoy your life…move on…:)
May 14th, 2007 at 7:04 am
happens very rare… especially if one felt so hurt about the break-up, you would rather not wish to be friends with your ex.
May 14th, 2007 at 7:14 am
i can but she can’t.
May 14th, 2007 at 9:29 am
nice blog…
i guezz it really dependz on the perzon and situation…
I’am in good terms with my EXs… and one of my exs is actually one of my best friends… it has itz upz and downz and im dealing with it… what can i say “IM A GREAT PRETENDER”
May 14th, 2007 at 10:38 am
it always depends on how you break up.
October 27th, 2008 at 1:05 am
Hello, Do something to help those hungry people from Africa and India,
I made this blog about this subject:
in http://tinyurl.com/6bz6t7